This is really a single post that I’ve decided to try and blog, which I’ve some times realised is mostly a type of puff piece.
In these days of uncertainty, there are plenty of guidelines on does and do not about this period, some of which are by healthcare professionals (which really means that they get money from your illness, but at least here in the UK they don’t have the means to ramp up your fees there and then), but a lot is from social commenters who have about as much knowledge about CoViD19 as the capsid itself (look it up).
So, here are some activities that are banned under the current guidelines.
FACEPALMING
It is advised that you avoid watching any youTube, Redit, Discord, Blog or even regular Media that you are likely to find full of foolish information (Anti-vax, Flat earth, Counter-evolution, Corona-conspiracies, etc) as this can result in touching the face with the whole hand, guaranteed to transmit the virus.
THINKING
Thinking in general is actually still a good idea, unless you are prone to thinking that you should go and see friends. We are specifically talking here about Winnie the Pooh style thinking which will go something like this: ehem, “Think, Think… Think. Think. Think. Think. Think… Oh bother… I just touched my face. Pigglet, would you happen to have any hand sanitizer?”
THUMBING
I don’t know if anyone still thumbs there nose at people these days, but this is defiantly a dangerous thing to do. It not only brings you own hand into contact with your face but also has the potential to fire the virus across the social distancing gap. Perhaps it is simple better that you send a poop emoji instead if you really hate someone that much.
PEEK-A-BOO
Hiding your face from a baby may seem like a good idea, though they probably need the least amount of effort on distracting them from being stuck in the house. Put a piece of tin foil on a string for a makeshift mobile in their case. However, if you must engage in bonding type activities, use a fan and pretend that you are a geisha, coy and completely non-contact.
SMOKEY EYES
I don’t like these at the best of times, especially when they look like a round two opponent from a Rocky movie, or worse, a Chinese inmate at the Zoo. However in these times of social distancing, it might seem like an advantage to scare anyone away from you, it is equally unhelpful to press and probe your eyes with any item with a surface that could harbour the virus.
STEALING NOSES
Stuck indoors with bored children may inadvertently tempt you to perform the time-honoured tradition of stealing their nose, but please avoid this instinctive impulse. Grabbing someone else’s nose is the worst possible thing you can do. However, if you have already taken someone’s nose, please wash it first and then return it so they can get back to work. (Wait, what do you mean humans don’t actually take the nose? Then how is that any fun?)
WAKING UP/ GETTING SLEEPY
People instinctively rub their eyes when tired, either when getting up or when too tired to stay awake. By this metric, people need to go to bed as early as possible, before any possibility of tiredness sets in and should remain in bed past all possibility of being tired when getting up. I highly recommend 22hrs of sleep per day, giving time for two meals a day, to prevent any possibility of rubbing eyes
This is just my list, but please feel free to add you own thoughts for guidelines on how to handle coronavirus. And remember – Wash Hand, Stay Inside, Don’t watch George Romero films.
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