The Disney princesses and their degrees.
Recently, that is to say, the last few years, I’ve had something of an obsession with Tinkerbell, ever since I discovered the origin of her name from the Disney movie, and discovered that it actually comes from the original J.M.Barrie novel. While I always believed she was called in Tinkerbell because of the ‘tinkle’ of her voice, it was only when I watched the Tinkerbell movie, that a fundamental fact hit me.
Tinkerbell is a tinker.
Oh my goodness. She is a tinker and has always been a tinker, a pretty manual job, being folding and fixing pots and pans. But there is more. Specifically in the film, she is more than a simple tinker, she fixes a clockwork mechanism. That’s when a second thought hit me.
Tinkerbell is an engineer!
One of the most derided, body-negative characters in Disney history, and perhaps considered the most vindictive fro a long time, is actually an intelligent capable mechanical engineer. Ok, this is not obvious from the first movie, and perhaps in the original story she was made out to be nothing more than a domestic repair merchant, her capabilities perhaps relegated to the same as for sowing or stitching.
It made me think: So what else have I been overlooking for the Disney heroines, as people judge how kick-ass, or how negatively they portray the female form to young girls. What job or qualification would each of them have? What did they teach you that you were capable of?
RULES!!!!
The next few fillms are either deviod of female charatures, which at least means they are not being demeained, or anthropomorphic animal storeis, which make it hard to see them doing any other job than Dog or Cat.
Snow White: While on the surface Snow White seems to be a spoiled, if persecuted, Princess and then shoved into being a simple little housewife, she does have some serious levels of Animal rapport. I suspect that given a degree, she might become a vet, though that would depend upon her academic capability, for which we have no evidence. If not, she’d become an awesome queen of the forest.
Cinderella: It’s not obvious across all three Cinderella animations (Yes, three, and Yes, I’m not thinking about the live-action) that she does much more than cleaning and a little light fashion design. But if you watch through all the crisis management she ends up doing, I think she’d make an awesome diplomat or possible a project manager.
Alice (from Alice in wonderland): Professor of Logic. Isn’t that much obvious.
Aurora (Sleeping Beauty) : This one is more a process of elimination – She probably won’t be a seamstress or anything involved with wool or cloth. In fact, as she spends most of the time either mollycoddled by godmothers or fast asleep there is much time to give her a personality. She could always become a professional bed tester. But if we assume she spends a lot of her time wandering the woods in a daydream, I think she could be an author. Probably writing books about nature and far off non-magical kingdoms.
Maid Marian (Robin Hood) : Possibly the first time a female character and her sidekick, lady cluck, show any sort of personality. Though she still runs away a lot, Marian is something of a plotter. ???
Miss Bianca (The Rescuers): She was the representative to the United Nations for Hungary and lead investigator in the field case of a child kidnapping. How much more capable do you need any protagonist to be?
Princess Eilonwy (The black Caldron) : I know nothing about her. I need to watch this!
Arial (The Little Mermaid) : Sadly caught up in the princess of truculent children and (wait, what? Ariel is 16?) Arial had a great career ahead of her as an archaeologist, even if an entire university education would be needed to erase the teachings of Scuttle. She has the curiosity, the organisational skills, and the adventurous nature than might make her even a rival to Lara Croft.
Belle: (Beauty and the Beast) We establish very early on that Belle would want to be a Librarian. She does have that “I’ll tell everyone to be quiet, even the 9 ft tall lion type individual over there” attitude. It’s possible that she would have become a philosopher, but with the mechanics of Maurice in her blood, I don’t doubt she would have become a bit more practical later on. I can somehow see her becoming a chemist, in deep dark dank labs in the base of the castle, brewing up strange mixers in order to provide fertilizer to the community. It would also allow her to accidentally blow things up every so often, making her very much like her father.
Jasmine: (Aladdin): Jasmine is clever, adventurous, sneaky, athletic, and not above punching someone. She is basically set up to be a female spy. Infiltrating the inner courts of royal palaces and crowded towns market places alike, she could travel the world influencing people. And if they give her trouble. She could also be an airline pilot or just a pilot in general, but with no other Disney Princess having access to a flying carpet, that s a bit easy.
Esmeralda (Hunchback of notre Dame): She has a lifestyle, a home, a job, and a goat. She is happy. What more do you want? Well, if I must put her through university, or at least higher education, I think Esmerelda would still probably become an entertainer. She likes her colourful cloaths and performances, so while Artist is a possiblity, I think she is more likely to be a performance artist, Or possibly one of those that cover large buildings like Notre Dame in red and purple cloths, for which at least she’ll have a volunteer to help. She might also become a theatre producer in the longer term.
Megara (Hercules): I like Megara. She’s a porcupine: Soft on the inside, spiky on the outside. Using her seductive ways to persuade people, it’s hard to know is she’s a user or being used. Actually, she is being used, doesn’t stop her being a user. She comes across as having been a dolly girl to rival even the most ineffectual of princesses so far but is fundamentally a crusty cynic. Doesn’t believe in heroes but is interested in when they get on. I think she would make a great agent, telling people like it is, but cheering on those who could actually make it in the tough reality. Whether she would be a sports agent or a talent agent, who knows. She strikes me as the type that enjoys watching the muscles even if she claims they don’t impress her.
Mulan: Soldier that stopped the invasion of 10,000 Huns. Durh. Though I think she did actually want to run the family farm, so probably a stop off in agricultural college after her national service was up. Hey. Life doesn’t always go how you think.
Jane (Tarzan): Jane has a career as a behavioral ecologist. She probably doesn’t have a degree, but she is probably just as educated as any man that does. And she has the eccentricities of a professor. I see a long, beautiful career.
Yzma (Emperor’s new groove): Had to mention, as she stamps her personality on the world if mostly because of the dynamic with Kronk. She is a determined and ambitious chemist, clearly looking to rise to the top of the world. I’d definitely back her to be prime minister at some point.
Lilo
Helen Parr (The Incredibles): Was a superhero, then converted to housewife, and back to superhero. But what if she wasn’t either? Police officer. Definitely. Tactical leader of SWAT. I’d bet on it.
Tiana (The Princess and the frog): Do I really need to point out she IS a Restaurateur. You go, girl!
Rapunzel: (Tangled): Has a fearsome forehand, so professional tennis player is one possibility, but she will need to keep her hair short. Also with all that climbing, lassoing and ropework, I think she would do well as a first mate, maybe even a captain of a frigate. I can just see her working on a tall ship, master of the rigging, eventually standing in battle in a uniform preparing to engage the enemy fleet on the poop deck.
Merida (Brave): PE Teacher. Or possibly a Guide on an Outward Bound experience. Either way, I’m not sure I want to participate either way.
Vanelopie Von Sweets (Wreck it Ralph): Clearly angling to be a street racer. For a more respectable job, maybe she could be a delivery driver, teleporting is quite handy for the speed in this case. Possibly a motivational speaker: She has learnt to overcome a disability and persuade ???
Elsa (Frozen): She clearly already has a degree in civil engineering. Even if you can manifest Ice at will with the power to freeze a whole country, you wouldn’t be able to make an ice palace like that without some serious architectural skills. Even if she had been planning it for years.
Anna (Frozen): Mountain Rescue…
Joy (Inside Out) : Even if she comes across a the sort of person you want as the branch manager in fast food or supermarket, She does also have the qualities of a daycare attendant, i.e.. Senior Sale Executive. Can you imagine her trying to sell you anything? She doesn’t believe it cannot be done and
There are a lot of female characters from her on that Actually have their careers spelt out her and I cannot really do any better: Eva (Exploration Droid), Judy Hopps in Zootopia (Police Officer)
Honorable mentions:
Big Hero 6: Go Go and Honey Lemon – Engineering students. Awesome – Shame they are undermined by having the man show up to save them less than half their age….
Major Motoko Kusanagi (Ghost in the shell) : Yes, apparently one of the most capable cyborgs secret high-tech police officers in the history of animation, is officially in a Disney animated movie. Weird right. If you have not heard of Ghost in the Shell, it’s well worth a watch, even the Standa Alone Complex is awesome. Not in the main list, because it’s not a typical Disney movie, but I dare you to tell ‘The Major’ that yourself.
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