LANDKELIS

The metric equivalent of seven-league-boots

As you know, seven-league boots allow the user to walk the distance of an entire day of walking in a single step. While early prototypes produced mixed results in simply moving each boot 3 miles apart, the most famous pairs worked well by a process of elasticated waist physical and amorous entanglement that attracted the feet to the destination. Having said that, the most common type were the sliding boots, where the wearer would lift their foot in the air and suddenly find themselves pulled along at high speed by that boot, the other one still firmly on the ground following along, unable to put his foot back down until the journey was finished maybe 5 min later. Many people will have seen a stranger sliding through their village streets at speed, with one foot stuck out in front of them, screaming for someone to help them.

The more modern versions only move distances in prescribed steps of 12mm, due to the limits of leather and brass to hold the sublight speed effects of quantum tunnelling at smaller intervals. It does, however, mean that the size of the step is directly related to the size of the user’s regular pace rather than a fixed distance, and the more modern techniques do not leave you with a rubberized pelvis, bruised kidney and jelly legs. It also normally doesn’t disturb as many onlookers, unless they happen to be right on the 12mm limit.